lamebert:

If the ocean was only 10% celery, it would only be 9% water. Because we know that the ocean is at least 50% water, we know that it is also at least 56% celery. The real question is if the ocean is 56% celery and 50% water (at least), and humans are ~70% water, then why are human’s celeries so variable? I mean, you look at someone like Bill Gates who has so much celery, and you look at me whose celery isn’t even close. Does Bill really have that much more water? Why isn’t he an ocean?

dildorrito:

what’s the password
dekutree:

where the fuck is the bartender
dekutree:

where the fuck is the bartender
dekutree:

where the fuck is the bartender
dekutree:

where the fuck is the bartender

dekutree:

where the fuck is the bartender

(via kidah)

mihari:

floororanges:

what the fuck is that supposed to mean

mihari:

floororanges:

what the fuck is that supposed to mean

(via pussysista)

lamebert:

lamebert:

what’s the difference between an unclean bus stop, and a lobster with breast implants

one is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean

(via lamebert)

The worst best idea Greggs have ever had.

If you’re interested, I’m a cajun chicken flatbread. Which is coincidentally my favourite Greggs sandwich.

huksy:

actionables:

actionables:

MY HOUSE IS FULL OF BEES

I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS POST HAS 30K NOTES

because its unbeelievable

(via s7eveningle)

dw:

when did we replace the word “said” with “was like”

(via dicknightwingrayson)

iguanamouth:

image

i read that as lions

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remember who you are

(via dralionos)

I want to get drunk and listen to The Smiths all night.